Come inside, take a seat. I’d ask you to feel like home, but what do I know what home feels like?
But when you’re done, tell me; I will take you to the living room where there is warmth. Not from me, but the electric heaters.
Do you trust me? Then come along, walk with me into the kitchen, where I keep all the knives to chop and mash. I always clean them, just in case an emergency comes up. What emergency, you ask? Oh nothing, just that I plan to sell the whole house with everything in it.
Don’t stop, there’s a bedroom that I want you to see. No? What do you mean no? It’s okay, there’s nothing to worry about. Hold my hand, here. What? My hand is freezing cold? Well, yeah, I get really nervous before I do something significant. Sit on the bed. Feel how comfortable it is. You won’t even feel a thing when you’re fast asleep in this bed.
Are you feeling better? Why are you sweating? Do you want to go outside to the balcony? Come, I’ll take you. Man, look at the view. Are you afraid of heights? You’re not? Oh good. I take it you really like the house. Do you want to buy it? Why are you walking backwards? And why are you shivering? Is it cold? I don’t feel it. I think my blood is boiling. Here, let me help you out.